12 Wedding Traditions You Can Skip in 2025 (Without Feeling Guilty!)
Planning a wedding in Québec? While our beautiful province embraces both traditional and contemporary celebrations, many couples are questioning which customs actually make sense for their modern wedding. If you’re feeling pressured to include certain elements that don’t resonate with you, we’ve got good news – wedding planners are officially giving you permission to skip these outdated traditions!
The Evolution of Wedding Traditions
Weddings have been happening for centuries, which means many of the rituals we follow today were established long ago when social norms were quite different. While some traditions continue to hold deep meaning, others feel disconnected from today’s relationships and values.
Modern couples increasingly want their celebrations to feel organic and authentic to how they would naturally host a gathering—focusing on fun and togetherness with the people they love most, rather than following a prescribed formula of traditions.
As Montréal and Québec couples embrace more personalized celebrations, here are twelve wedding traditions you can confidently leave behind in 2025:
1. Sleeping Apart the Night Before
Wedding folklore suggests soon-to-be-newlyweds should spend the night before their wedding apart to avoid bad luck. However, wedding planners now recognize this tradition often creates unnecessary stress.
Many couples find they’re actually more relaxed when they spend the night together and wake up on their wedding day with their partner. This shared experience can help calm nerves and create a special moment of anticipation together.
If sharing a cozy breakfast together on your wedding morning helps calm your nerves, there’s absolutely no reason not to do so. This is especially practical when you’re hosting out-of-town guests or staying at the same venue.
2. Traditional Gendered Wedding Parties
The terms “bridesmaid” and “groomsmen” create unnecessary gender divides in your celebration. Some of your most meaningful relationships might cross traditional gender lines, so why limit yourself with outdated labels?
Montréal couples are increasingly opting for mixed-gender wedding parties that better reflect their authentic friendships. Your best friend stands with you because of your relationship, not because of their gender.
Consider using terms like “attendants,” “wedding party,” or simply “our people” instead of gendered language. This allows your closest friends and family to support you regardless of traditional roles.
3. Standard Wedding Vows
While religious ceremonies often include traditional vows with centuries of history behind them, secular ceremonies offer more flexibility. Personalized vows allow you to make promises that genuinely represent your unique relationship.
Writing your own vows gives you space to share meaningful anecdotes about your journey together and make commitments that are specifically relevant to your relationship. If public speaking makes you nervous, keep them short and sweet, or have your officiant read them while you respond with “I do.”
Many Québec couples are blending traditional elements with personal touches, creating vows that honor their heritage while reflecting their modern relationship.
4. Assigned Reception Seating
Creating a seating chart can be one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning. You might worry about which relatives can sit together, who might feel excluded, and whether guests will feel trapped at their assigned table all evening.
Flexible seating arrangements can foster a more relaxed and friendly environment where guests feel comfortable mingling and moving throughout the celebration.
Consider alternatives like:
- Assigned tables but not specific seats
- Lounge areas mixed with traditional tables
- High-top cocktail tables for a more fluid environment
- Mixed seating options that encourage movement
This approach works particularly well for more casual celebrations or venues with multiple spaces. Just ensure you have enough seating for everyone!
5. Parent Dances
The father-daughter and mother-son dances can be beautiful moments, but they’re also rooted in gender norms that don’t represent every family. For those with absent or deceased parents, these traditions can feel exclusionary rather than celebratory.
Even with loving parent relationships, some people simply feel uncomfortable being the centre of attention during a choreographed dance. If that’s you, consider:
- Having a private dance before the reception
- Inviting all parent figures to join you on the dance floor
- Starting with a brief parent dance that quickly invites everyone to join in
- Skipping it entirely in favour of more dancing time for everyone
Many Montréal venues offer beautiful terraces or private spaces where you could share this moment away from the spotlight if that feels more comfortable.
6. Bouquet and Garter Tosses
These traditions target single guests in ways that can feel uncomfortable or outdated. Not everyone is waiting to get married, and putting a spotlight on relationship status can be awkward.
The garter toss in particular can create uncomfortable moments at what should be a joyful celebration. The ritual of the groom removing the bride’s garter in front of guests often feels out of place in today’s celebrations.
If you want an alternative, consider:
- Giving your bouquet to the couple who has been married longest
- Having an anniversary dance where the longest-married couple receives the bouquet
- Using that time for another fun group activity that includes everyone
7. Traditional Cake Cutting
The ceremonial cake cutting is becoming optional, especially as couples explore alternative dessert options. Whether you prefer a dessert table, crêpe station, or maple treats that showcase Québec’s local flavours, there’s no rule saying you need a traditional tiered cake.
Many Québec couples are opting for towers of cheese, creative dessert stations, or selecting treats that represent their cultural backgrounds. The symbolic first bite can happen with any dessert you love.
If you do have a cake but don’t want the spotlight moment, simply enjoy it without the announcement or ceremonial first slice. Your photographer can still capture you enjoying dessert together without making it a major production.
8. Separate Sides at the Ceremony
The tradition of the bride’s family sitting on one side and the groom’s on the other creates an unnecessary division right at the moment you’re joining together.
This practice feels particularly outdated for same-sex couples, blended families, or couples who share many mutual friends. Creating an inclusive atmosphere where everyone feels free to sit wherever they prefer fosters unity and community.
Consider adding a sign that reads “Choose a seat, not a side—we’re all family once the knot is tied” to encourage mingling.
9. Big Formal Wedding Parties
While having attendants stand with you is meaningful, you absolutely don’t need to have a traditional wedding party at all. Many Québec couples are opting for more intimate celebrations without the formality of matching attire and processionals.
This doesn’t mean you can’t get ready with your closest friends or celebrate with them before the wedding. It simply removes the pressure to assign formal roles, purchase matching outfits, or organize additional events.
Some couples now include just one honour attendant each, or select family members to stand with them instead of friends. The key is creating roles that feel authentic to your relationships.
10. Bride’s Family Paying for Everything
The tradition of the bride’s family covering wedding costs dates back to times when women were considered financial burdens being “transferred” from one family to another. Today’s couples often share expenses in ways that make sense for their unique situations.
Modern approaches include:
- Couples paying for their own wedding entirely
- Both families contributing equally
- Each family taking responsibility for specific elements (venue, food, etc.)
- Setting a budget based on what everyone can comfortably afford
This shift allows couples to plan celebrations that align with their own values and priorities, rather than being limited by traditional expectations.
11. Excluding Pets from the Celebration
While some traditional venues might frown upon four-legged guests, many modern couples consider their pets essential family members who should be present on their important day.
If having your furry companion at your wedding feels important, know that many Québec venues now accommodate pets, especially for outdoor ceremonies. From dogs carrying rings down the aisle to cats making appearances in photo sessions, animals are increasingly welcome at weddings.
Not every pet has the temperament for a busy wedding day, however. Consider your pet’s comfort with crowds, loud music, and unfamiliar settings. If bringing them to the full event isn’t practical, many couples include pets in:
- Pre-ceremony photos
- A brief appearance during the ceremony
- Marriage proposal stories and engagement photos
- Custom cake toppers or illustrations on stationery
Having a designated pet handler (someone who isn’t already busy with wedding duties) ensures your furry friend is cared for throughout the event.
12. Grand Entrances and Exits
The tradition of making a dramatic entrance to your reception with your wedding party, often with everyone dancing to different songs, can feel forced and uncomfortable for many couples. Similarly, orchestrating a grand exit with sparklers, confetti, or bubbles requires extensive planning and often keeps your photographer late into the evening.
More couples are opting for casual entrances that feel natural, simply joining their cocktail hour and mingling with guests before dinner. Others are choosing to have a “last dance” with just the couple after guests have formed a circle around them, creating an intimate moment without the logistics of a full exit.
For those who love the photo opportunities these traditions provide but want something more relaxed, consider:
- A private last dance after guests have departed
- A “fake exit” earlier in the evening when lighting is better and more guests are present
- A casual entrance to your reception without announcements or choreography
- A group photo with all guests instead of an exit line
Making Traditions Work for You
While this list gives you permission to skip traditions that don’t resonate, remember that some customs might still hold special meaning for you or your families. The key is being intentional about which elements you incorporate.
Wedding planners consistently encourage couples to do what makes them comfortable on their wedding day. The focus should be on what feels authentic to your relationship, not what others expect or what tradition dictates.
Québec weddings beautifully blend French-Canadian traditions with modern sensibilities, allowing couples to create celebrations that truly reflect their relationships. Whether you’re planning a sophisticated Montréal soirée or a rustic Laurentians gathering, remember that the most meaningful weddings prioritize authenticity over obligation.
What Matters Most
At the end of the day, your wedding should celebrate your relationship in a way that feels genuine. When deciding which traditions to keep or skip, ask yourselves:
- Does this tradition have personal meaning to us?
- Will this element enhance our guests’ experience?
- Are we including this because we want it or because we feel obligated?
- Does this tradition align with our values?
The beauty of modern weddings is the freedom to create a celebration that truly represents your unique relationship. By focusing on what matters most to you as a couple, you’ll create a meaningful day that you’ll remember fondly for years to come—no matter which traditions you choose to include or skip.
Further Reading
Wedding Planning: 5 Expert Tips from a Photographer
WTF is an Alternative Wedding Photographer?
Why Every Bride Needs The Rescue Kit Co.’s Bride Kit
